Cancer-prone
personality:
We have more in common than just our cancer. . . .
"Life Line:
Cancer-prone Personality" Shrine -- 2004
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer
in 1993, my surgeon laughingly told me a story about a patient
he'd biopsied for a large lump in her breast. Even before he
got the biopsy results back from the lab, he told a colleague
he didn't think the lump was malignant, because the woman was
"too mean to have cancer."
And sure enough, the biopsy results came
back negative, validating what he'd perceived about his cancer
patients.
I thought about this story a lot while
I was undergoing treatments, priding myself on the fact that
at least one good thing was coming out of my diagnosis: it marked
me as a "nice" person.
When I started reading more about my cancer,
I was amazed to find that my surgeon's private assessment was
actually a well-documented fact. According to several experts
in the field, cancer patients do share certain personality
traits and some interesting life components, as detailed below.
In fact, these life history
components were shared by 76% of the cancer patients studied
by Dr. Lawrence LeShan. Only 10%of a control group of noncancer
patients revealed this pattern.
compiled and adapted
from The
Silent Wound,
Peggy Boyd, PhD;
Mind as Healer, Mind as Slayer, Kenneth R. Pelletier;
Love,
Medicine, and Miracles,
Dr. Bernie Siegel; and
Getting
Well Again,
Dr. Carl Simonton
The good news: Only
"nice" people get cancer. They're known as . . .
1. "saintly" -- described by friends as "exceptionally
fine, thoughtful, gentle, uncomplaining, -- almost too good to
be true"
2. extremely devoted
to family or some other person, cause, or group
3. proper and generous -- always thinking of others before themselves
4. always smiling,
never angry or upset
5. the one others come
to for mediation, advice -- the
peace maker
6. extremely good at avoiding arguments, evading others' harsh tempers,
leaving before a crisis
The flip side: In exchange
for that "saintly" label, cancer patients often . .
.
1. have difficulty expressing aggressive emotions -- often are not even aware
of these emotions in themselves
2. have chronic low-key depression
3. are not assured of their own intrinsic value -- hide authentic self "to
be liked"
4. are perfectionist,
very self-critical
5. respond to others' needs at the expense of their own
6. may subconsciously view
illness as a way to
get love
Typical components
of life histories of 500 cancer patients:
1. Youth marked by isolation, neglect, and despair, with intense interpersonal
relationships difficult and dangerous.
2. In adulthood,
patient developed a strong, meaningful relationship or found
great job satisfaction. This relationship/role
was reason for living.
3. Relationship/role was removed -- through death, move, child leaving home, retirement,
etc. Result was despair, as though the bruise of childhood had
been painfully struck again.
4. Patient "bottled up" despair rather than expressing/working
through it.
Now, you may be one
of the 24% of cancer patients this doesn't describe, but the
fact that you're working your way through this website suggests
you may be aware there's more to "healing" than just
medical treatments.
As for me, I was amazed
(and secretly pleased, of course) at how much of the "nice
person" cancer profile applied to me, and appalled at how
much of the "flip side" and life history stuff also
applied to me -- especially the parts about low-grade depression,
perfectionism and not being able to recognize (much less express)
angry feelings.
In fact, the more self-exploration
I did, the more I realized that one of my most health-damaging
tendencies is keeping things bottled up inside instead of sharing
them with others.
As one expert says:
Repressing thoughts
and feelings is hard and emotional work, which leads to deteriorating
health. We need to express anger, grief, envy, fear as well as
joy and love.
Dr. James Pennebaker, Opening
up: the Healing Power of Confiding in Others
I know this is something
I need to work on in order to heal.
Is this "blaming the
victim"? I don't think so. I see it more as "enabling
the survivor" in that it gives us something we can do to
enhance our own healing. We can't change the past or how we responded
in the past; but we can change how we think about the past and
how we respond to things from this moment forward.
And that means becoming
more aware of what we're feeling when we're feeling it, and trying
to find a healthy way to express it.
Soul
Connection Workshops, the materials in the Breast Cancer Survivor Kit, and getting a Cancer Survivor
Reading can help
with this self-expression.